The Importance of Self-care

How many times have we plopped down at the end of the day, exhausted, and wondered where in the heck the day went and how am I even still standing?  Many of us live our lives, day after day, on survival mode, which then unfortunately becomes the norm. Let me warn you: What I'm about to say is not revolutionary and probably something you've all heard before, but here it goes: The need for balance and self-care in our lives is important. Yes, I know- you already know this! Let's be REALLY real though, it's pretty freakin’ important! So then, why do we work ourselves to exhaustion, giving more than we probably “should,” and always end up paying the ultimate price (our own sanity)? Let’s put a pin in that question for a second to give you warning number 2:  Be careful about "shoulding" on yourself (I “should do” this or “should be” that…). Thoughts like that can become habits; ones that often leave us feeling inferior and incapable, which is probably a very untrue assume about ourselves. Yes, if your “shoulds” are about you saying “I should eat today” or “I should be careful as I walk this tightrope….” then yes, those are okay “shoulds” to have in your vocabulary. Anyway, back to the ultimate unicorn in our lives: BALANCE & SELF-CARE. Far too often, we have these excessive and perfectionistic ideas about what those two terms really mean. Well, I'm here to hopefully reduce some anxiety about what they CAN mean and encourage you to find just one or two new ways of moving toward a little more balance and self-care. 

There are many, many ways of practicing self-care and can include daily exercise, meditation, yoga, working toward better sleep, eating healthy, taking prescribed medications appropriately, and the list can go on and on. The problem is, we haven’t adjusted our expectations and schedules to allow more of these things. We assume self-care and balance means we have to be perfectly zenned-out, problem-less gurus who all start off our days with at least an hour of yoga or some kind of exercise, 30 minutes of meditation, a hot, relaxing bubble bath, time to read our favorite novel, a fabulous gab session with our oldest and dearest friend, of course while munching on a lunch that you have made from scratch from ingredients you’ve grown in your own garden and contains zero fat and cholesterol. Oh, and don’t forget the fact that no one has interrupted you, called you with work expectations or complaints, the keys to your car haven’t disappeared, the dog hasn’t just peed on the rug, and the neighbors next door haven’t just begun their extensive renovation beginning at 6am every morning. 

The reality IS, most of us don’t have time for all that and even feel a little resentful when we see celebrities on the cover of Namaste the Heck Out of Your Life magazine looking like they actually live that way!  So- how do we get to that place where we have time for balance and tranquility? Well, I make no promises for total bliss and unending time for yourselves, however, what we can do is to simply take a long, hard look at the lives we are living in the now and ask ourselves the hard questions we often ignore.  Yes, one of the biggest ways that we can practice self-care and balance is to first take look at our extensive list of responsibilities, schedules, relationships, and then most importantly, look at how we are prioritizing them. Oh wait, did we forget to include ourselves again? DANG IT! Okay, yes, how are we prioritizing OURSELVES into our lives? 

When we really look at all of those aspects of our lives carefully, sometimes we can then create the self-awareness it takes to begin developing the courage for change, look at what's working and what isn't working, what needs to be adjusted, what are our own neglected needs, and what could be eliminated. Be brave and maybe even ruthless when it comes to creating time to take care of YOU! It does not mean you have to cut everything and everyone out of your life, but it could be enormously beneficial to take a serious inventory and look at what can be revamped, changed, tweaked, reduced, or maybe even eliminated from our list of to-do's.   

We tend to have overly full schedules, unfair expectations, and endless responsibilities, but take a serious look at those in your life before you end up doing a Brittney Spears number on your hair and drop out of society like an Into the Wild recreation. Ask yourself this: “Self- what can I do differently today, tomorrow, and the next day that would help me get some of my own needs met and allow me to take care of ME?  What small thing can I change or what enormous overhaul can I do to make room for me in my own life? Could I handle the change and the possible repercussions of not fulfilling the expectations that the world and even I have had for me in the past?  How can I be okay with it? How can I embrace a new focus of taking charge of my own life with little to no guilt? Where can I begin?” Whew- that’s a lot of questions! The bottom line is, the questions we ask ourselves like these and the personal challenges we propose are enormously important.  If we don’t choose to live our lives consciously and with intention, OUR LIVES WILL LIVE US!

Start with creating your own vision of what it would look like to have more balance and self-care incorporated into a very busy life.  Don’t forget to approach these ideas with kindness and patience, even if it isn’t everything you need.  The problem is, without having the time to reflect and check in with yourself, it will be difficult create balance. If you have to, start small and find a way to squeeze fifteen minutes in somewhere to read something inspirational, take some deep breaths, and ground yourself in the knowledge that you are an amazing and maybe even a divine human being in your own way (depending on your beliefs).  Remember, you are not, and never will be, perfect, AND you are still EXTRAORDINARY. Wait now, I want to clarify, I didn’t say extra-ordinary, I said EXTRAORDINARY (just to be clear).  Take it, absorb it, imagine it, own it. Now, go on and make time for yourself, revel for a moment or two in a moment or two, then recognize that you are important enough for all of it! 

THE TAKE-AWAYS:

·       Balance & self-care is important, so stop putting it off and make time for you!

·       Avoid “shoulding” on yourself.

·       Take an inventory of your priorities and insert your name at the top of the list.

·       Be brave, you are worth it!